Getting Setteled

What an adventure the last week has been. It started on Thursday when I slipped and fell down a flight of wet wood stairs and injured my back (again). The next day we moved into our new house and spent 12 hours a day for the next 3 days unpacking, setting up furniture and keeping Z and the dogs entertained. During that time I also managed to burn the palm of my hand (blisters still make it hard to grip anything) and twist my knees, but I survived. At this point that is all that matters.

We are slowly settling in to our new life and new rolls. Scott is enjoying his new job and adapting well. I am starting to realize that I don't have to go to work tomorrow so I don't need to rush through the day trying to get everything squeezed in. Zandra is loving all of this new time together but is confused as to why I get to be home with her and Scott doesn't.

It's hard to not have an identity now other than wife and mother. Before I was a nurse, a friend, a dreamer... now I am just Zandra's mom and Scott's wife. I think that will be my new struggle - to enjoy and embrace this time but not lose myself so deeply in it that I am not able to resurface when this period of my life is past. I will always be Zandra's mom and Scott's wife, but at some point I will want to be more than that again. For now that is more than enough though. Zandra and I are filling our days with art, exploring, planting the garden, learning letters and words, and a million other things to numerous to list. For now that is more than enough - to be with my loves and explore the world with them at my side.

New Life, New Blog

Since life has changed so dramatically I decided a new blog was necessary.

For those of you just joining us, let me get you up to speed. Scott, Zandra and I have just moved from San Diego, where we were for 6 years, to the San Francisco bay area - Berkeley to be exact. Scott does web development for video games, Zandra does art and runs amuck, and me... well, that has yet to be determined. For the last 12 years I have been a nurse, among other things, but that part of my life is behind me, or at least in indefinite hold. For now I am embracing domestic bliss, training for a half marathon, guiding Zandra on the challenges of writing and reading, tackling the dogs, planning a new flower garden, and debating creating an Etsy store to justify new sewing and craft projects when Zandra starts kindergarten in the fall.

In San Diego our life was filled with a few precious wonderful friends, summers of sun and beach time, crazy jobs that demanded more than their fair share of our energy, and each other. We always had time for each other, but never enough, and there was always something pressing in the background, demanding our attention as soon as play time was over. About six months ago my focus shifted from trying to accomplish everything to one thing - enjoying this crazy world with my wonderful family. Scary medical tests and a close call - "I'm very surprised you don't have cancer. I was sure you did," said my endocrinologist when months of testing were finally completed - reminded me that all time is precious and not to be squandered.

I recently read an article where a mom talked about the joy of setting aside an hour a day to have unstructured play with her children. She did this for one year. I thought how horrid to not have an hour a day for your kids. I know that parents are so much more than simply parents, but for a mom to have to schedule an hour a day with her children is so sad, made even worse but the writer's acknowledgement that there were days that it "just wasn't possible" to play with them that day. I don't want my memories of Zandra's childhood to be of rushing from one event to the next, or of trying to squeeze in a few moments of fun into an over scheduled day. Nor do I want her memories of childhood to be of events rather than moments, of things rather than family.

So here we are, embarking on the next phase of our life; refocused, energized, and eternally optimistic about the future. I hope you enjoy taking the journey with us.